I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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