Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
