Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
