Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
