That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
