1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
