He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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