We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
