then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
