people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't deserve a penis
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
