Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
