So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize