Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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