If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
