I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
