is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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