Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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