After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
