Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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