we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
