Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
