He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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