Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
