Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
