yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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