I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
