The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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