yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize