As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
