Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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