I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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