We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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