Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
