Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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