I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
