Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i barfeds in our rink
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
