I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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