i permit you to call me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Girls should come with a carfax report
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
