Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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