is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
