Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
