brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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