Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize