I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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