You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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