What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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