OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
