Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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