Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we made out on top of his cat.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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