Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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