i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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