Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
