the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
