i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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