i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
