She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
