I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
