also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
