lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
