Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
