Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
