Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
