ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
