YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
