Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
