so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize